Professor:And if you'll turn to the classroom conduct section of your sy- excuse me, where are you going?
Me:Oh, I'm definitely dropping out of the class, so I didn't want to waste any more of your time.
Professor:May I ask why?
Me:Because if I have to pretend to read A Rose for Emily one more time-and listen to people tell me I'm wrong for thinking Homer Barron is gay while they themselves have clearly never read anything by Faulkner (but clearly love them some Sylvia-fucking-Plath), I will have to change my major to its study.
Me:I came to this class for two reasons: to drink Tazo and kick ass, and I'm all out of tea.
I am very grateful that I live in an age where every tomato in the supermarket has a sticker on it and maybe I’m being greedy and selfish, but I hope I live long enough to one day go to the supermarket and see tomatoes with two stickers on them.
the funniest thing in twilight is when bella thinks that the guy she has a crush on might be a vampire so she goes home and just googles the word “vampire” it’s ridiculous but also exactly what I would do in that situation